Life Update

I thought about posting a blog entry on my myspace, but I must admit to you that my loyalty to the blog still lies here, with xanga. So here's an update as of today: beginning with my summer.

On July 13th, my 22-year-old cousin Colin tragically died. It was a painful blow to anyone that knew him. He was a really wonderful guy, and I don't mean that in a sugarcoated remembrance kind of way, but in a way that anyone that knew him would understand.

Megan and Will are stepping down from the youth ministry. They'll be gone at the end of August. I plan on hanging out with them a ton even after they're no longer a part of my church, but I would be lying if I said that I was okay about it. They are a huge part of my life right now. It sounds a little dramatic for me to say it like this, but I feel like this year isn't going to be as great without them there all of the time. I know they're not moving away and that I'll still see them from time to time, but not having them there constantly is a huge loss for anyone that knows them. They're just awesome people in general and I can't see my youth group ever being the same without them.

School itself is going to be awesome this year. I'm finally out of worldview. I really am glad that I got to take the first year because it has completely strengthened my understanding of Christianity as a whole, and I feel as though I could explain to anyone at any time the reason for my being a Christian as opposed to an Atheist, Buddhist, etc. BUT the class itself was extremely stressful and I'm glad to be through with it. Now I'm going to be going to LCA fulltime taking English, History, Chemistry, Algebra II, and AIM (which I'm completely stoked about.)

I really want to either learn an instrument, or start doing something with singing. I love music and I’m not involved with anything musical right now. Seems like a waste doesn’t it?

I hope that someday I'll have unwavering faith. Even now I find myself constantly questioning my faith and whether I'm really allowing myself to follow Christ without throwing in my own twists and turns. It's just not something I can do on my own. Lucky for me, I don't have to do it on my own.

*sigh*

There really are very few things more discouraging than seeing someone that was once a strong (or so I thought) Christian turn away from their faith in Christ.

How can ANYONE honestly believe that they can live a content life by doing things their own way? I mean look around. This place isn't exactly Candyland.

All that to say, I think that the most foolish thing a person can do within a lifetime is come to the conclusion that their own plan is superior to God's plan. What motivation would a person have to live if they believed that there was no plan for their lives? They would have to live with the belief that they were worthless, just another face!

How awful.

So I went into some rambling there. Sorry.

Well unfortunately, it seems as though myspace is the new and improved xanga. I'll probably keep posting on my xanga just because I enjoy the periodic writings of my thoughts in something besides my diary. I also like thinking that perhaps every once in a while someone will read these thoughts and know me and my heart just a little bit better.

-Kyley Snow

"Oh God, I don't love you. I don't even want to love you. But I want to want to love you."

-Teresa of Avila

Do you know what's worse than being afraid? Having irrational fear. I feel SO stupid when I freak out over a mayfly but honestly they scare me to death. And having a fear of balloons isn't much better.

Augh I'm such a kid!